what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize