Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
