He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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