is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
