You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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