you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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