just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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