hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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