i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
