god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just found puke in my bra..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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