You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
