I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
