I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I got inside last night via doggy door
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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