You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
