guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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