Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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