you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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