Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
