Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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