I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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