True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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