every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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