I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.