It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma