its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
