Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
