So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you had me at cake vodka
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just high enough for therapy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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