well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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