...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
