This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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