Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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