How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize