It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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