Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
