Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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