when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
