just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
