Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
