That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
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There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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