i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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