we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I want her autograph on my taint
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
