I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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