Got a toothbrush?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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