Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
