there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
