Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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