The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm passing your future prison.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
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It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
soo... how was my night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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