I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
