Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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