You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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