ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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