I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize