we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
