Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
