i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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