I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
