Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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