i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
