I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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