take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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