At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
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Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
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How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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