After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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