It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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